Meeting Your Soulmate

“When will I meet my soulmate?” That is the question! I hear it all the time. It seems like a simple question, but there is a lot more to it than you might think.

We will be focusing on romantic soulmate relationships, but the truth is that you have many soulmates in your life right now. They could be your sister, your child, your parent or your best friend for example. Typically, we have spent lifetimes with these souls and at some point have most likely been mates with them.

But, when people ask “When will I meet my soulmate?” what they really want to know is “When will I meet the man or woman that will make me happy for the rest of my life? The one I am destined to be with forever.”

That is a loaded question for sure, because it all depends on your dominant vibration. Everything is energy and our beliefs = our dominant vibration, which then, through the law of attraction, matches us with people and experiences.

One of the most common misconceptions about romantic soulmates is that we each have only one, and that it is just a matter of waiting until destiny crosses our paths. In truth, there could be many romantic soulmates with whom you will spend time with in this lifetime. It doesn’t mean these relationships will be healthy, and it doesn’t mean they will last forever.

When you meet a romantic soulmate, you will definitely “feel” that soul connection. You will feel like you have known them forever, and feel very drawn to them. This is because you do know them on a soul level and have spent lifetimes together in other incarnations and/or in-between incarnations. But it doesn’t mean that it will last.

This is the hardest thing for people to grasp. I talk to many people who are finding themselves at the end of a relationship or marriage and they just can’t seem to let it go because they remember that initial soul connection and fight to hold on no matter how bad the circumstances.

When they initially matched with that person, that soulmate, their dominant vibrations lined up. It felt like chemistry. Both souls agreed to meet at that vibrational level for balancing some karma and/or to promote inner growth.

If you meet a soulmate when your dominant vibration is unworthiness, lack, guilt, shame, or any other self-defeating belief, they will reflect those inner beliefs for you. They will treat you in a way that shines a spotlight on your beliefs of unworthiness, lack, guilt or shame. They will feel the same way about themselves, even though they may display these feeling differently. Your spiritual agreement was to use this relationship to propel you into self-love and higher awareness.

Now, if you both come into this awareness and both grow and shift your beliefs together, then great! But, that is most often not the case. If you do use your experiences to grow in awareness, but decide to stay together for the kids, or to honor your marriage vow, or purely because the fear of the unknown keeps you from moving forward, you will block your own self-development and stay stagnant in order to stay in the relationship.

This is a very unhealthy place to be. Once you become aware, it is very uncomfortable to try to deny it. You will block the well-being that is flowing to you and that block will inevitably start to show up in depression and/or physical dis-ease.

People talk themselves into settling for less than they desire all the time! It’s no surprise because we have been taught our whole lives that “You have to take the good with the bad” and “You can’t have it all… no one is perfect.” These mantras were created by people trying to justify their own less than ideal relationships! They are settling for less and trying to make themselves feel ok about it.

Of course, there is no perfect person. But, there is someone that is perfect for you!

When you use unhealthy relationships as the stimulus for your inner growth, you will see it from a different perspective. You will do your best to shift into a good feeling situation within the relationship, but if it is not possible, you will be able to walk away knowing that it taught you well.

You will then have shifted your dominant beliefs/vibration from unworthiness and lack to worthiness and self-love. Only then will you meet the kind of soulmate with whom you will have a healthy, supportive partnership. You will be two healthy and whole people coming together for co-creation and growth; not two wounded people seeking someone to fill the void.

Then you will know that you can have it all. That an awesome relationship is possible!

It doesn’t mean there will never be conflict or contrast within the relationship. You will still have deeper layers of healing to come, but if you both continue to align vibrationally, and grow together, it will be fulfilling and lasting.

So, the answer to the age old question “When will I meet my soulmate?” is this: You will meet your soulmate when you are a vibrational match to him/her. Wherever your vibe may be.

Jami Derro